Addicted to luck Ep - 1

to my fellow residents o the island...hello once again..

although i know the last thing i should be doing right now is writing when there is a whole load of online classes to watch and 2 tests waiting at my own doorstep tomorrow..

regardless , I am writing because i feel sleepy watching those classes..

so shall we continue on what happened after that ??

after 2 months of my stupid brains analysis i finally came to this conclusion that swan neck is my lucky charm...but not only that.

i have to credit to this guy..coz if he never came maybe i wouldn't even ever be writing this..or i wouldn't be writing at all..

it so happened that my first book featured swan neck as one of the characters..

its not that i wrote about him..but what i wrote about my character became him...

I started writing this on the time of the year when i hated his presence..but then as i read the story..i felt like who I'm writing about seemed to be swan neck itself..

they had the same features and same hobbies and since then swan necks name changed 

he was upgraded into Mr.Andrew...wow...i almost forgot that name ..

its been over 4 years since i named that...

so..i had to tell this to someone ....without sounding like a crazy maniac..i would approach my bff everyday but then id change the topic wondering how am i going introduce something so stupid to her...it seemed impossible 

but then i did tell her once...she first thought it was a crush but then i told her its not like that..

eventually over the years she could understand the nonsense i was talking about...

so...did i ever talk to my lucky charm ??...no definitely not 

its been about 4 years and i haven't ever said a single word to him 

but then what is this lucky charm nonsense that I've been blabbering about ??

well...

if i ever understood this i wouldn't be writing this in the first place...

somehow over the years i keep getting tangled up with this person...

or was it myself voluntarily and unknowingly getting tangled up is yet unclear to me 

this is why i keep hesitating to write this ...because i don't know what to write on it ..or how i should write on it ..why am i telling this to total strangers in an internet world..

why am i doing all of this ..??

i don't have answers to any of these questions 

but all that i know is..i could get this lucky charm stuff out of my system once I've written it out 

and I'm putting an effort to spit all of it out so that my brain doesn't trick me anymore with this kind of nonsense..

right now i need all the luck that i need for a lifetime to get to my dream...at such a significant point of life..i keep wavering thinking would the absence of my so called lucky charm effect the most important moment of my life ?..or is it all my brain trying to fool me..

although i know that the latter is true i keep making the mistake of turning towards the former choice..

and I'm writing this so that you guys , my fellow islanders never do this kind of mistake of tricking your mind or even letting it trick you like i did ..

although the words that i wrote today makes no sense whatsoever even for me the one who wrote it..I'm just happy that i could start somewhere of to kicking this swan neck out of my system for good...

i suppose my writing is even worse than a history textbook so id prescribe it to those who are insomniacs coz I'm pretty sure you'd sleep well before finishing reading this ...

even I'm getting sleepy writing this ..

my fellow islanders that's it for the torture you guys had today...

ill try to come up with a way to explain what I'm trying to explain..

till then , until we meet again ,

I hope wherever you are in this world you get a good nights sleep and that you have happy 

days ahead !! 

I've always found this picture beautiful...it shows us that the path ahead is going to be beautiful and filled with happiness..

i hope the path ahead of our lives are also as beautiful as this is